I was in a state of denial after my first bad experiences of not coping well with my first CI (a long story that I will come back to later on.) and I went for days without sound. Being alone at home and not having anyone to talk to I often did not even put on my CI. The only people I talked to apart from some here and there in the shops when it was absolutely necessary were the few CI friends that visited me.
One of them thought that I needed company and nagged me to tryout a dating site on the Internet. I was not at all interested but later on decided that I would give it try just to shut up this friend because I did not believe that anything good could come from it.
Well, a guy by the name of Kalie replied and wanted to meet me in person. I was hesitant but since Mother’s Day was around the corner I decided that it may be the ideal safe opportunity to meet this stranger. I would have my 93 year old mother with us for the day as well as my two young nephews. Anyone who could cope with them would be OK in my book.
Now you must have a little background about mother and the boys…
Mother was one of the most curious people I ever knew. She would ask questions of a complete stranger that would make me cringe. She seemed to have no way to evaluate the personal nature of her enquiries and just had in mind to learn as much as she could about any stranger. I think this is an inherited trait since my grandpa was just like that too. And maybe I am becoming so as well the older I get. I do however believe that I am a bit more sensitive for asking very personal questions of strangers though.
My two nephews were all fun and also not shy to play pranks and have fun. I reckoned that it would be a good test to see if this stranger can handle mother AND the two of them and pass their scrutiny.
I was a bit scared of course but the scene was set as Kalie arrived right on time at 10:00 that Mother’s Day morning. The boys kept to the background more or less but mother was immediately interested. I did not tell any of them much about Kalie apart from mentioning that I met him on the Internet. The Internet being something altogether alien to mother and the boys just chuckling about their “old” aunt getting involved with a man from a dating club. The one whistling the tune to a SA lyric called “Wat maak oom Kalie daar” (What is uncle Kalie doing there?” LOL)
Well much to my surprise (and theirs I think) Kalie was unperturbed and immediately sat down talking to mother and answering all her questions! NO problem whatsoever and it actually appeared as if he enjoyed it! Later on he was tending to the barbeque with the boys as if everything – the house included – belonged to him! Bossing them around to help with the fire and the barbeque! I could not believe that we only met him that morning since he was so “at home” with us. At 11pm that evening he started making plans to go home and wanted to know when he could visit again…
From there on things developed quickly and we ended up as friends and soul mated within a few months and after about six months he moved in with me.
From that moment onwards sound returned to my life. I suddenly had someone to talk to all the time. More than that he came with his love for traditional Afrikaans music called Boeremusiek. The radio was on all the time and I had to accompany him to gigs and Boeremusiek events. I joined the local Boeremusiek Guild and met the most famous musicians and started sharing Kalie’s interest in the history, development and preserving of this music genre.
Without noticing it at first my hearing benefitted by this new exposure to sound. Within three months I could hear so much better and it was only then that I finally believed that one had to “train your brain” to get used to electronic sounds…
So Mother’s Day was the day that I took a new road in the journey back to the hearing world. More than that however it brought Kalie into Mother’s life. Looking back at it today that was the best Mother’s Day gift that we could ever pass on to her. He was the one that made sure that I do not neglect her and visited often. He also was the one who took care of things when she was unable to communicate with anyone but him after a stroke caused by severe stress (what we believe to this day was due to ill treatment in a nursing home).
Kalie was also the last one to communicate with her when no one than him would evoke a response from her a day before she passed away...
I never had children and strictly speaking no need to celebrate Mother’s Day in the normal sense of the word. I have only been a “surrogate” mother to my siblings’ kids and Kalie’s children and they do not owe me any Mother’s Day greetings or recognition and that is right and OK
However - tomorrow Kalie and I will celebrate our fifth anniversary but more so we will remember Mother’s Day and Ouma and my return to sound…and Mother’s Day will forever make it easy to remember exactly when we met!
Enjoy the day! Even if you think about it as just another commercialized silly holiday – it means different things to different people and I hope that my story brought a smile to some of you.
In the photo:
Kalie and his Boeremusiek friends at a gig that he arranged with them for mother and her cronies at the Old Age home for her 92nd birthday.
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