The Quail Trail Part 7 - Illinois - first impressions - Academics and Agriculture

I departed from Newark a little less secure about air travel after my previous experience at the same spot on the 2nd of July. I requested all the assistance I could get and got onto the plane without effort. Well, you could have guessed it! The plane was delayed again! Same story!. I could not hear why we had to disembark again.
However, this time I was more prepared for it. I had all the possible phone numbers at hand and I immediately approached a nice elderly lady asking her to please help me make some phone calls. By then I could identify people who might be willing to help. You just look for something that will stand out like this Afro-American lady’s straw hat and friendly smile. I ignored the airline’s lady at the desk like a red traffic light because she was babbling away like her colleague in Toronto. I wrote down the phone number and an explanation who Merle was as well as the reason for the phone call, etc., and passed that on to the helpful lady who refused to accept money for the phone call. She said she would never accept money for helping me, she was just giving back something to all the people that helped her in her life. Made me think! I will never forget that.
The phone calls were made without trouble and within minutes the two of us were talking that hind leg off a donkey! I was happy and felt better thinking that this time I managed well -- and I was talking to someone who knew how to handle others with hearing difficulties! That was a bonus in itself.


About an hour after my expected arrival time my friend Connie was waiting for me with a warm real hug and a broad smile. Oh how often had we gone over this specific moment in our minds and messages over 18 months! At last I had the wonderful privilege to meet this dear friend who lifted my soul from so many dark pits of depression during my husband’s last pain-filled days and who brought smiles when discussing our mutual joys at discovering yet another descriptive idiom or saying when comparing languages. Over time Connie and I almost started writing in Afrikaans to each other since she is fluent in German and understands Dutch very well – in fact she can understand no less than NINE languages! Little did I know then how much more we had to share apart from our love for languages.

A thunder storm on our return from a trip in the countryside.
All I knew about Illinois before we commenced our journey to Urbana-Champagne was not to expect the lush scenery of New Jersey and there were no mountains or lakes to speak of in comparison to other parts of America and Canada. Driving from the airport past cultivated fields, my childhood memories of cornfields floated in. Only these farmlands were greener and I almost did not recognise the plants for maize at first. I remembered my father looking at a particularly beautiful corn field at our farm years ago saying to me, ”If it rained like this and the corn is as beautiful when I am dead one day they will have to tie me up wherever I am to prevent me from coming back to harvest the crop and plough the lands!” To me it was beautiful and in my mind I was a happy young child back on our farm in the Free State. I did not need the mountains and the lakes to observe beauty: It was truly in the eye of the beholder.
We stopped for a typical American lunch at a highway restaurant and Connie’s husband, Gordon, was explaining things to me as far as we went. Over the next few days we would be out on similar trips in and around Urbana. The city reminded me of two equally beautiful, but much smaller, “University“ cities in South Africa. Both Stellenbosch and Potchefstroom have similar tree-lined streets - huge oaks painting Cape Dutch buildings with shadow patterns on the walls in Stellenbosch and similar oaks and willow trees providing soothing shadows against the harsh summer sun in Potchefstroom. Although it was the middle of the summer holidays without many students about, I could picture students walking, cycling and laughing on their way to their classes – everything was beautiful and very familiar but, like everything in America – vastly bigger.

The round barn that was reconstructed at the University was one of the interesting buildings that Gordon showed me.

Every day Gordon would drive to show me some more of the University of Illinois. He would drive along a different street every day to provide me with yet another beautiful view of the houses and gardens. I could not get enough of it. It is a truly beautiful city and I could see why they chose to spend their retirement from the academic world in this environment where they can still enjoy their love of languages and music amongst colleagues and friends with similar interests. I identified easily with this academic environment in the heart of America’s “food basket” with its many agricultural activities. I envied Connie for being able to attend and enjoy music at concerts in the Krannert Centre for performing arts. She is doing so well with listening to music with her CI.

Street scene – Urbana -Champagne
One of the things that I wanted to do was to listen to Gordon playing the organ in their church. Gordon has been a concert organist and agreed to indulge in a small “recital” on my behalf so that we could discover what I could appreciate when listening to music with my CI. This started with him playing the piano at home for me but unfortunately it sounded awful to say the least! Then we went to the church because I was insisting the only music I heard since my implant that more or less sounded like music was hearing the organ at Hennie’s (my husband’s) funeral 18 months ago.
The church is a small chapel with a beautiful organ. And yes! It was a CI moment for me. I won’t say I enjoyed the music but it was rather special because I could pick up some of the lower frequencies with my non-implanted ear and it sort of balanced the sounds to convert some white noise into music. Maybe it also had to do with the vibrations from the organ in the silent, empty church -- the rich bass sounds embedded a memory in my CI sound library. It made me feel at peace but sad, remembering the sounds of an organ months ago …
On our way back from the church we came across the Fourth of July celebrations but we decided that we would rather go home to get away from the intense heat since temperatures were soaring in Urbana. So we headed home and decided to watch everything on TV in the comfort of their air-conditioned home.












At the same time my computer withdrawal symptoms were becoming rather severe and I convinced myself that I HAD to spend some of my precious American dollars to cure myself and to make provision for some storage space for my photos. So we set off to a HUGE computer store where I bought this very nice toy – my laptop – for myself! What a joy! I immediately downloaded a lot of photos and became digital camera happy at once!!
The next day they provided me with enough inspiration to keep me clicking away merrily on the rest of my journey by taking me to the Larry Kanfer Art Gallery. What an amazing selection of photographs of Illinois and environment! Do yourself a favour and check this out on the Larry Kanfer web site!! http://www.Kanfer.com. As I walked into the studio I stopped in my tracks at a huge photograph of a corn field showing rows of corn with a farm house forming a hazy back drop for the lush green plants - aptly named “Standing Ovation”. I was back on a Free State maize farm once again.

The next few days in Urbana really took us to the “foothills of Mount Level” as the area is jokingly referred to. I also had the privilege to meet some of Connie’s good friends. She invited her friend Sally for drinks and snacks. For this occasion we exchanged recipes that we’ve been telling each other about over many e-mails in the previous months. Connie made Cheese Bombay to show me how it should be made because when she gave me the recipe I ended up with something quite different to what it should be. I had to show off a little of my own skills and made us a Rooibos tea punch. Rooibos tea is a popular caffeine free herb tea that is very popular in South Africa. We spent a very pleasant evening discussing our CI‘s, recipes, traditional foods and what not.

Left top : With Charissa and Connie
Left Bottom: With Sally


Later that same week Connie invited another friend, Charissa. Charissa had been in South Africa years ago and we had lots to share while I was filling her in on how things changed since she had been there and she delighted me with stories about her stay in South Africa. Obviously our implants were also again discussed because Charissa is head of the Audiology Department at the University of Illinois.
The days went by too quickly to explore all the delights. We went shopping and I spent a delightful time inspecting all the products in a Chinese delicatessen, enjoyed the wide variety of cheeses as well a most enjoyable evening at an Indian restaurant. I went with Gordon to taste some local and other wines and with Connie to see more of Urbana. We visited the farmers’ market early on a Saturday morning. Being a crafter myself it was very interesting to compare the crafts and products at the market to what we have in South Africa and pick up a few good ideas as well.
It was wonderful to spend time with my friends in their home and to become part of their daily routine. I simply loved looking at the bunnies and the squirrels in the garden. The fireflies never failed to intrigue my curiosity and I could stand forever looking at them as it seemed they were putting up a show especially for me every evening. I haven’t seen fireflies since I was a very small child on our farm. I even caught some of them to have a closer look at their taillights.


While with Connie and Gordon the weather was very hot and humid. Sunday afternoon we went for a drive in the countryside past numerous fields of corn and through quaint little towns with beautiful houses and lovely gardens to the Fork River preserve near Homer. It was a hot and humid afternoon and we had some thunderstorm warnings even before we left home. On our way back home the dark clouds against the lush green of the cornfields provided some beautiful images for photographs. The woods and the lake at the Fork River Preserve had a special feeling of tranquillity as the sunlight faded and the storm clouds grew darker. It also was my first experience of storm and tornado warnings both on TV and Connie’s storm alert device. Later that evening I looked in awe at the devastation of the same storm where it struck a nearby town in full force.
It was with a sad heart that I said goodbye to these dear friends on Monday when they took me to the bus station from where I left to meet my friend Ruth in Chicago.

Connie and Gordon an the Wreath that I made for their door…

Looking at these photos after ten years brings sadness since Connie and Gordon are friends that I lost contact with and I often wonder abut them and wish that it could have been different. All I know is that Gordon had cancer and was terminally ill when I last heard about them and was then asked not to contact them again…

The Quail Trail Part Six - A party in our honour

Visiting my good friend Cher in Canada was one of the things that I looked forward to most before I left. We built up a friendship by writing e-mails to each other for a long time before my departure. My friends in New Jersey could not understand that I was so anxious to visit a person "that I'd never met before", forgetting that I also did not know them a mere week ago. Someone commented it was a "brave" thing to do.



One of the things that I looked forward to most before I left on my journey was to meet some very dear friends that came into my life through communicating on various CI/HOH forums on the internet. Some of these people became very good friends who supported me through rough times before and especially after my rather disappointing hook-up over the past eighteen months. Then I received a wonderful message from Linda Stock, telling me Jazzy wanted to arrange a party in my honour to meet some of the SWC (Say What Club) folks. Well I read about Jazzy's parties a short while before when I joined SWC but knew nothing about her. I could hardly believe that someone who did not know me and had never been in contact with me would do this?

Fortunately I knew about the power of e-mails for securing new friendships!! I immediately wrote and she confirmed the party was on it was only a matter of deciding on a date that would suit both of us, and we started making arrangements. By the time I arrived in Newark we only had to finalise directions for Merle to get my friend Ruth and me to Little Falls on the 16th of June 2001. That was the Saturday after my return to New Jersey from Canada and my nightmare experience at Newark Airport.
On the day of the party it was raining on our way to Little Falls and it was hot and humid. I was feeling a little sorry for Jazzy about this being aware of how the weather could spoil a gathering of thirty odd people in a confined space. Especially since we were invited not to forget our swimwear when coming to the party. That was before I knew how well organised she indeed was for her famous parties!!



I immediately recognised Jazzy's beautiful home from her description when we arrived but was not sure whether I should go around the house or approach the front door. I was sure that everyone would be gathered at the pool area and was wondering if Jazzy would hear the front door bell. Aren't we forever aware of the inconveniences that complicate the lives of deaf/HOH people - such as not being able to hear your own doorbell? I need not have been worried about that because unlike in South Africa Americans have access to so many assistive devices that we don't have here or struggle to get hold of. Things like strobe lights for doorbells. This was just a reminder that my own doorbell will still be out of order when I return home after my trip.

The next moment Jazzy was at the front door with an exclamation that I would hear very often in the weeks to come: "Oh, are YOU Wia?" Well my own thoughts were: "So this is Jazzy! What a fine lady and obviously geared for fun!"
Then my brain had to go in overdrive to start putting names to faces. The first person I started looking for was Linda because I knew that she and Dick would be there and I had seen a photo of her before. Then also Neil and Diane and Lorie "who else"? Oh yes! and we had to find landing space for the South African milk tarts that I made for dessert. In the photo below is Diane and Neil Baumann, Dick Stock and Ruth



Then Jazzy started introducing me and we moved out to the deck where a number of people were already gathered. A few hugs later I was talking to Linda and Lorie Singer, immediately giving an update on the status of my CI map!! I had just been to David Shipp in Toronto the previous day for a new map and I was NOT doing well with this particular map. To top it all the strange accents did not make it any easier too. I just had time to more or less get used to the Canadian accents a mere week before and now had to concentrate hard again to pick up American accents again. While in Randolph with Ruth's children the accents were not such a problem since they all still retained much of their South African English accents that I am familiar with.



Left: Linda Jane, Jazzy and Mark

Time sped by and before I knew where I was I promised to forward recipes for the milk tarts and had my little note book out to start writing down more e-mail addy's! The easiest for me was one-on-one conversations and I realised that there was no way that I would be able to talk to everybody or even remember all the names. I found it real hard to converse with some of the people because of the accents once again and simply not being used to so many people with hearing loss all bunched together. However it did not deter me from securing more friendships and I knew that once again wonderful friends were entering my life.

Needless to say the food was excellent, the company great and the ambiance of Jazzy's beautiful home super. We talked about hearing loss, a little about politics in South Africa, eating habits and food, our jobs, our homes our families and friends building memories as time sped by. I found myself more or less in one to one conversations or part of smaller groups for most of the evening as people almost queued to have a word with me. The only real bad thing was: so little time so much to say.
It was my first experience of meeting a deaf blind person too and my heart was filled with gratitude and compassion when I saw how bravely Susan handled a loss that was so much more severe than my own. It humbled me and I felt blessed and secure amongst these wonderful people who not only shared a similar challenge but was more set on enhancing the lives of others with their truly amazing sense of humour and zest for life! Far too soon it was time for some of the guests to leave.


Left: Diane and Neil Baumann and I
A few of us sat talking and looking at Jazzy's beautiful travel photos till late that evening. Needless to say the cameras also flashed throughout the evening to capture some of the smiles and laughter. I had to say goodbye to Linda and Dick before we went to bed way after midnight because they planned to leave early the following morning.


When I got up the following morning I found Jazzy in the kitchen with the other guests who had slept over already chatting away at the table. This proved to be quality time also. It was the ideal opportunity to strengthen further friendships and to get to know Jazzy, Ann, Neil and Diane a little better. What wonderful friends and such fond memories. Jazzy, Ann and I continued our conversation sitting in that special chat spot at her little round table in the kitchen. I can still hear us babbling away because at that stage their accents were not such a problem for me anymore. Too soon Merle was there to take us back to New Jersey again. A few last photos and promises to keep in touch brought an end to our delightful stay at Jazzy's home. Ever since that farewell I've had the wish that I may have the opportunity, some time in the future, to welcome many of those people, and especially Mizannie and Jazzy, to my own home in South Africa.

The Quail Trail Part five: Nightmare at Newark

Note: After reading this you will understand why I have no photos at all of this experience…but reading may bring a smile - LOL or maybe a tear ... Please read on...

Before I departed from South Africa a lot of my friends were concerned about how I would manage on my own on this trip without someone to assist me when I needed someone else's "ear" to listen on my behalf. I was not too concerned about this because I am rather assertive and just said that I know I will be able to cope and if it came to the worst there's always pen and paper.

Famous last words!!

At my departure from South Africa and going to Canada my friends made sure I got the needed assistance at the airports and literally took me by the hand to see that I at least got to the right desk to book in or told the people on the curb that I was "deaf" and needed assistance. I had no problems at Jan Smuts airport in Johannesburg nor at Newark when I left for Canada. So after my tearful, my sad goodbye to Cher at Pearson International Airport in Toronto I was confident that I'd "been there, done that". I easily found my way to the right departure terminal, refused to go through the scanner and allowed them to wand me once again and told the lady at the desk where I was going to sit so she could get hold of me should there be any flight changes, etc. She complied to this request and I was asked again to board the flight ahead of the other passengers.

About fifteen minutes after the scheduled departure time the plane taxied out on the runway and there we sat45 minutes later an announcement came over the PA system and I could not make out a word. The lady next to me was a young Chinese girl and she gave me a blank look when I asked her what the announcement was but a moment later the plane started moving again. Then I realised that we were on our way back to the airport! Everybody piled out and I grabbed my hand luggage without waiting for support and disembarked. By the time I got to the information desk the queue was at least ten deep with irritated passengers all trying to get the attention of the two ladies manning the desk. Another airline lady was babbling her heart out trying to explain what was going on but since I was in the back row I could not lip-read well enough to understand what she was saying.

Eventually I got hold of a young girl who had talked to me while I was waiting to board before I embarked. She was in a hurry and just told me that there was a delay and that she must be off to try and get another connecting flight since she was going to miss her connecting flight in Newark and off she went. My next move was to get to the "desk" lady again. I eventually grabbed her at the elbow and blurted out that I was deaf and would like to know what was going on. Her reply: "Just sit down over there: We know about you!" Pointing to what I assumed was an Indian lady (she was dressed in a Sari) seated a few paces away. Duh!!

"Okay," I thought. "I will give you time to help these other people, but you will hear from me again soon," and sat down. I tried to talk to the "Indian" lady only to get that blank "non-comprehendo" stare again!! So I shut up and waited

After about another hour I was still unaware of the reason for the delay. I tried to speak to various other passengers but they either did not know or seemed uninterested in talking to me once I told them I was hearing challenged! At last a friendly gentleman told me that we would possibly be delayed for FIVE HOURS "due to the weather" in Newark. The only consolation was that we could use our boarding passes to get a free drink and a snack. "Thank you very much!!"

Then I realised I HAD to get hold of my friend's daughter, Merle, who would be meeting me "on the curb" when I got to Newark because it was very awkward to find parking with all the building alterations at the airport. That's when the nightmare started! Not being in the habit of making telephone calls I had my diary with all the contact numbers in my suitcase that was on the plane and not in my hand luggage!! How stupid can one be? There simply was no way that I could get hold of my friends in New Jersey, or Cher's husband Randy and she was of course on the road back to Eugenia by that time. So all I could do was sit and wait and worry!! Do you realise how long a five-hour nightmare can be? Well this was only the beginning.

More than five hours later we eventually departed and by that time I was a nervous wreck because it was three hours after my expected arrival time in Newark. The time? 19:00 on a Friday afternoon! Arriving at Newark I expected to go through customs to the baggage claim area but could not find the customs counter and the baggage claim area seemed to be miles away. I was completely lost and everything looked vastly different to what I remembered from my arrival at Newark when I came from South Africa. (Later I would find out I had arrived at a different terminal when I flew in from South Africa). Most of the signs at the airport were taken down due to the building alterations and there were hordes of people mulling around. I got my bag, found the phone numbers and set off to the Continental Airways information desk only to find a queue that looked like it was about a mile long!! There was NO way that I would join THAT queue! I got hold of a security guard and explained to him what happened to me and asked him to phone Merle for me.

He was very friendly and went up to a phone and started dialling the number. I could see that he was dialling the wrong number!! GRRRR!! But he kept on telling me that the number changes after hours and insisted that he got no reply!! Then I decided to go to the main entrance to see if Merle was not by any means waiting for me at the curb All the time I had to lug my heavy bag along and I had to use the lifts and not the escalator. It took me ages to find the lifts that were hidden behind partitions. I walked along the length of the kerb but there was no sign of anyone waiting for me.

I asked about six people to help me and they were either foreigners or Spanish-speaking people who could not understand me. By that time I had been walking about in Newark airport for close to an hour. I even tried to get a taxi to Randolph but the lady at the desk also could hardly understand me and was very non-co-operative and telling me all the time that a taxi to Randolph would be too expensive!! I was crying with frustration!!

Then in tears and at the end of my tether I approached another security guard who told me to get hold of anyone wearing a red jacket at or near the Continental desk. Hallelujah!! I found this red-jacketed angel!! I could immediately sense her concern observing this tear-strained lost soul!! She simply took her cell phone and started dialling the number telling me not to move away from her. It was the right number and Merle answered immediately! Everyone was upset by that time but eventually this lady took me right to where my friends were waiting for me at the baggage claim area! They thought I had missed the flight in Toronto! Needless to say there was nothing strange about the weather in Newark it was a bright, sunny, hot day with no bad weather! The nightmare was over but my confidence in coping on my own as a semi-deafie in strange places amongst foreigners was shattered!!

We went home with me now still teary eyed, exhausted and feeling very sorry for myself and annoyed for causing my friends all this trouble. It could have been so different if I only had the common sense to keep their phone numbers in my hand luggage!! Then I could have asked somebody to phone on my behalf from Toronto to make alternative arrangements.

So, lesson number one: Keep phone numbers ready even if you cannot use a telephone!! Don't be too assertive and think that you will find someone to listen and help when you get stuck!! The "listeners" may also not be able to understand you and there are lots of people out there in the strange wide world who have no idea how to help deaf people!! They just shy away and look the other way when they hear that you cannot hear! You can almost see their minds ticking away "Shame! She is "Deaf and Dumb'". Or they walk away and tell you to wait where you are and never return!! That happened to me about ten times in one afternoon!!

Lesson number two: Don't be shy to ask for assistance and attach yourself to anyone willing to help like a blood-sucking tick!!

Lesson number three: Sometimes it is beneficial to start crying and stop trying to act bravely. Few people can ignore and not be sorry for a feeble, lost, crying woman.

Well after awakening from this nightmare I was at least street-wise about air travel on my own!!

The Quail Trail Part 4: Canada - Friends, fun and beauty beyond imagination

Visiting my good friend Cher in Canada was one of the things that I looked forward to most before I departed from South Africa. We built up a friendship by writing e-mails to each other for a long time before my departure. My friends in New Jersey could not understand that I was so anxious to visit a person "that I'd never met before", forgetting that I also did not know them a mere week ago. Someone commented it was a "brave" thing to do.


Cher and Randy Anderson
Cher was meeting me at Pearson International Airport in Toronto and we'd been ticking days off our calendars since 90 days before the day we were to meet for the first time. I had a window seat on the plane and was noticing the green landscape and some lakes as far as the journey took me to Canada particularly remembering a previous visit to Niagara Falls. Cher lives in a small town on the Niagara escarpment. I wondered whether I would recognise her.

As I walked into the departure lounge there she was right in front of all the other people holding up a poster that said: "HUGSAKABUNCHES WIA"!!! Our very own special word for sending lots of "cyber" hugs to each other in our e-mails! The next moment I was enveloped in the grandest "real" hug you can imagine and we were both crying with happiness!!

The welcome poster - Hugsakabunches
After getting out of the airport and leaving the not so pretty parts of Toronto behind (All the airports that I've been to seem to be disrupted by extensive building alterations do they ever stop building at airports?), the trip to her home took us along the scenic route to her home town Eugenia, near Owen Sound in Ontario. We went past farms on a clear sunny day and I was amazed at not observing mountains and valleys like one sees in postcards of Canada until she told me that we were actually on top of the mountain! It was beautiful but the real beauty of the countryside was still waiting for me.

Cher at Lake Eugenia, Ontario, Canada
Eugenia is a quaint little town with a mere 500 inhabitants. Shortly after settling in at her home we took her hearing ear dog Mikey for a walk to Lake Eugenia. The lake is literally on her doorstep!! A crystal clear lake bordered with huge trees and the azure blue sky caressed by silvery white cotton ball clouds! Later on she took me to the exact spot where some of Canada's bottled water bubbles from the earth to fill the lake. We could get this same cool and refreshing water from the tap in her kitchen!! The lake water is so clear you can see the salmon and other fish swimming about fifty feet from where we stood on a bridge. I simply could not get enough of the scene - beauty beyond imagination.

With Mikey

Eugenia Falls
A few days later we went to the Eugenia Falls Park, more or less at the end of the street where she lives. We walked through the huge trees of this forest to where the crystal clear water from Lake Eugenia drops down to the Beaver valley. From there one can look past the majestic pines with new growth shimmering in an almost fluorescent green on their branches right towards where she would later take me to Owen Sound.

The Georgian Bay lookout
Over the next few days even more beauty was in store for me when we drove to Owen Sound through beautiful towns with flowers in hanging baskets on all the lampposts, past farms where cattle and "beefaloes" (Ugly beasts!! - a cross between cattle and buffalo - raised to be slaughtered for excellent steaks) grazed peacefully with mountains, rivers and maple trees keeping guard over them. We stopped numerous times to overlook the Beaver Valley to drink in the scenery from the various outlook posts as we descended towards Georgian Bay and Collingwood. We visited at the Talisman Ski resort where she works during the winter. In summer the resort is closed except for the golf course and there were only a few people enjoying the sunshine while fishing for trout in yet another small lake.

Me in lake Huron (Georgian Bay)
We also drove to Collingwood on the shores of Georgian Bay, which is part of Lake Huron. Our drive took us past the Scenic Caves, and down the valley into Collingwood, famous for its ski resorts. What was interesting to me about Georgian Bay was that the water was absolutely lukewarm and the floor of the lake is not sandy but consists of slate. The slate is used for making the famous Blue Mountain pottery that is exported all over the world except to South Africa!! So I HAD to buy some when we visited the factory and even went on a tour of the factory to see how the pottery is made.

One cannot visit Cher without sharing her love for motorcycles!! The annual Ride for Sight event was scheduled for the weekend after my departure when Collingwood would once again welcome 15,000!! Bikers taking part in a charity ride with the aim of raising one million Canadian dollars for blind people. The evening before the event we attended a barbeque for the workers where I met some of Cher and Randy's many biker friends. What a joy that was to meet this friendly, happy crowd and share their enthusiasm to simply do good to less fortunate fellow human beings while having heaps of fun. The pure goodness of these people left an indelible image of "caring" in my mind.

Biker friends

With Cher and Randy at the Ride for Sight barbeque

Getting ready for the ride back home with Randy – Gail Cohen helping to put on the helmet

The best part of that evening however was riding back to Eugenia with Randy on his huge Goldwing motorcycle! It was the most exhilarating experience I could wish for!! After dressing me up for the part in Cher's black leathers they promised me I would be as comfortable as being in a Cadillac for the ride which indeed was the case! We departed just before sunset and saw the sun go down over Georgian Bay. It felt as if I was in a bubble looking down on the countryside that flitted by because one is sitting much "higher" on a bike than in a car. The best part was that, unlike in a car with closed windows, I could smell the flavours of the countryside scented flowers, people's dinners, freshly cut hay and even some cow dung - as we passed the farms in the twilight to arrive home safely after about 35 fun-filled minutes. Cher was ready at the end of the ride to capture this lovely memory with the click of my camera as we rode past her in the driveway.

Arriving back home with Randy after that unforgettable bike ride.

Apart from drinking in the beauty of Ontario, we also strengthened a friendship that will last a lifetime!! It was with sadness that I got up on that last morning to drive back to Toronto when it was still dark. We had to leave early for me to be in time to fit in a mapping appointment at the Sunnybrook Hospital before I returned to New Jersey.

At Sunnybrook Hospital, Toronto with audiologist David Shipp

Unlike driving to Eugenia upon my arrival we were quiet in the car as the sun rose like a red ball of fire on that last morning as we hit the rush hour traffic in Toronto. A few hours later found us crying as we said goodbye and clung to each other for a last "real" hug.

Thank you my dear friends for the beauty you shared but most of all for the lessons in caring and compassion that you so expertly bestowed upon me.

The Quail Trail Part Three -About people and babbleboxes ...

In this part of my story I feel want to talk a little about the people that I met and relate some emotions about my CI.

This remark that I received from someone that I met in the USA and who has been to South Africa before triggered the idea for this part of the story. She wrote:

"I remember when I went to J'burg I came back and thought some very similar thoughts. It's just amazing the differences in the countries and how we take for granted all that we have here. I was amazed at the people in the Squatter camps; I doubt you could get that many Americans living in a 5 foot by 5 foot room with no electricity and no running water. I was just amazed!!! Your country has the most gorgeous countryside and Kruger Park is unlike any place you will find here in America!"

2009: I may add that ten years later millions of houses have been built for people that lived in the Squatter Camps. We still have squatter camps but the situation has improved greatly over the last ten years.

Both our countries have their beauty, their problems and their diversity. It's just that the contrasts were so much more evident for me in 2001. The previous time I visited the USA and Canada I mostly went to the big cities, but this time it was not a normal "tourist" or "work" visit; it was about people that I longed to meet and visit. Little did I know how fortunate I would be to become part of their lives for a short while and how enduring those fond memories would be.



A drive in the country – Illinois seeing a lovely house and beautiful garden with flags proudly displayed
So, first and foremost my trip was about people and secondly about my CI. Or maybe I must not push my babblebox to second place. Through everything, my CI was just "below the surface" and my (new?) hearing was actually part of all the emotions.



The house of friends in Urbana-Champagne
And squirrels playing in the back yard...



The people that I met were so different from each other. To give you an example: I visited amongst millionaires and ordinary working class people, people in the academic world (with which I am more familiar) and people just enjoying the tranquillity of a simple life style in the countryside.



The elegant lounge of a millionaire’s penthouse in Chicago with the owners hardly ever at home…
Their ages were as varied as their occupations and life styles. I shared the wisdom of people older than me and I enjoyed the excitement and joy for life of people less than twice my age The best of all was seeing my young friend with his wonderful recovery from the silent world doing so exceptionally well with his bionic ear. It brought me to tears many times seeing him reach out to a world of sound opening lifetime experiences and opportunities for him.

I also sensed the anxiety of one of his other young friends and her disappointment of not being a candidate for the CI just now. This girl is very involved in the Deaf culture and struggling to let go of a boyfriend who is not interested in her yearning to get a CI, but scared that she may leave the safety of maybe the only "world" she is familiar with. The conflict in this young girl's whole being ripped my heart! Especially when I saw her face lit up in wonder about what our young friend with his bionic ear could hear. It warmed my heart to see how he supported her and encouraged her not to give up without pushing her in any direction about her own conflicting emotions. I spent a day with them gallivanting around London and it was sheer joy and made me feel 20 years old again.!

We went for a ride on the London Eye and had fun in the streets of London exploring the tourist haunts on foot. Those days were filled with laughter and joy!



In 2009: Since that time my young friend has been a world traveller! He is enjoying life to the fullest. He has since been to South Africa to visit me twice and apart from that spent almost a year working and travelling in Australia apart from many other travels in the Scandinavian countries as well as North America – a globe trotter in the true sense of the word defeating the challenges of hearing loss throughout all these years.

The girl that I wrote about have since had a Ci as well. She is now a happy mother with two children and coping well with her bionic ear!

So what I am trying to explain is that I first had to paint some of the less emotional pictures for you because at the time of my arrival I did not think about how the sheer beauty of New Jersey, Canada and England would so to speak "prepare" me for the adventures that lie ahead. One cannot really relate to people and their lives without observing their environment as well...and in the end I just appreciated what I have here a little more.



A thunderstorm chased us home from a drive through the farm lands of Illinois that reminded me a lot of our home farm…

The images of America and Canada and England made me take a better look at the hidden treasures that I have here right on my doorstep! We have a lot of hard work to do - similar to getting used to a babblebox - and I have faith that like with my own hearing, the possibility is that in my own country things can only get better... We have to work at it a lot more but in doing that we also need the understanding and support of the rest of the world. Only then can we have peace and prosperity...

In everything I experienced there was the undertone that this would never have happened with me if I had not become deaf in the first place and recovered some of my precious hearing with my babblebox however imperfect it still may be. It made me accept it with a heart full of gratitude and it spurred me on once again to work harder to make it better. I've also seen people doing worse than me hearing-wise and it made me more determined to reach out to my fellow CI/HOH friends to give back some of the wonderful support, love and caring that I received.



Wherever I went friends and strangers tried to make what I have better for ME. They shared whatever they could and added so much fun and laughter too. I had opportunities to enrich my life and get to terms with what really matters to make me happy. I left a lot of unnecessary baggage behind and now I am at another fork in the road and I am better prepared to face the challenges ahead. And I came back to similarly wonderful friends.

Like with my travels in the past the people that I met brought me more fun and happiness than the sights I observed and after a while one tends to remember the people more than the scenery. When I now look at the hundreds of photos that I took, I remember the people and how they made me appreciate the beauty from their own perspective . They opened my eyes not only to see the beauty but to experience what it meant to them in their daily lives.

Quail Trail part 2: Images of America and contrasts

Colours!! Shades of the softest green Everything was just almost a little too green!!

Coming from South Africa where the leaves were just starting to drop and nature was preparing for a winter sleep it was as if I looked through a piece of green Cathedral glass in the stained glass panel next to my front door. I simply could not get enough of the soft green of the woods that we drove through to Merle's (My friends Ruth's daughter in New Jersey) house and so many shades of green too. The colours were beautiful even that first evening when we drove to Randolph from the airport in the twilight but it was even better the next morning when the sun was out.


The deck and the woods on the doorstep.

On the very first morning I walked out on the deck and simply could not get enough of the lush green of the woods bordering the houses ¬ later on I loved going for a walk on a nature trail through the woods accompanying the children on their bikes and just drinking in the beauty of this particular soft green shades of sunlight.



Beautiful homes with Star Spangled Banners on their front porches and wreaths at the front doors and NO fences, barbed wire or high walls around the houses. Of course I was privileged to visit friends in what must be one of the most beautiful areas of New Jersey.

Water lakes and streams on their doorstep and even a private beach where the children could play and enjoy the long hot summer in safety. So much water was really something to behold coming from a country where water is a scarce commodity in many regions and water restrictions are often part of our lives. Especially where some people don't even have the luxury of water on tap in their homes.



The contrast to what we got used to in South Africa over the past few years was almost too much to behold. Again houses without high walls, barbed wire and Spanish bars in front of all the windows and no security gates and intercoms to announce visitors open doors and cars parked in the driveway without fear of not finding them there tomorrow. I was sad to realise that we had become so used to locking ourselves in in our own homes in South Africa that we did not even notice it anymore.

And everything was clean and tidy and no Squatter towns as one approached the cities. Such a difference to be transported from a Third World country to a highly sophisticated affluent First World environment. Of course I realised this may not be true about all parts of America but the sheer beauty of the area that I first came to filled me with a feeling of freedom and tranquillity.



These first images accompanied me wherever I went on this trip throughout America, Canada and Britain. Everywhere I went I was surrounded with so much beauty! Sitting on the porch in the evening watching the deer come right into the garden was a lovely experience too – not as many animals and birds that as what we are used to in South Africa but still delightful and different again..

Then we went shopping!! I remembered being impressed by American supermarkets and the overwhelming variety of goods in the stores during my first trip years ago but walking into the first supermarket was almost too much to take in. I got lost between the shelves and could simply not stop believing my eyes!! My curiosity ran rampant and being a dietitian I could forever scrutinize the various products that are not available in South Africa. It was fun to look out for certain items that we have in South Africa to see if they were included in the huge variety and funnily enough when we started shopping to do some traditional home cooking for Ruth's children some basic items that we wanted were nowhere to be found!


One of our first outings was to a craft market and some craft shops in Chester…

Then there was captioned TV!! "Lekkerrrrrrr!!" Something that we don't have in South Africa!! I was looking forward to this because at home I did not even bother to watch TV anymore unless it was a very visual programme where I could understand something by merely looking at visual images. At first I could not read fast enough and yes the spelling and typing errors were annoying!! LOL I concentrated so hard on reading the captions that I missed the visual images but I was getting better with it every day!! I also watched some old movies and was amazed that I had some of the stories all wrong!

These first impressions made me realise I was in for some very nice surprises and that every day would be filled with more discoveries. It was a going to be a journey where each day would be filled with contrasts and comparisons of the familiar visions and emotions that are part of living in a vastly different country across the ocean. This was a new world indeed and it was enfolding before my very eyes with each new dawn an adventure of a lifetime was in store for me. A pilgrimage that would take me into the hearts an homes of strangers who would become the dearest friends in a mere two months but THAT I did not know on that first morning when a squirrel came to greet this strange creature from Africa.

The Quail Trail Part 1

During the past ten years I travelled far and wide and dwas lucky an dhappy to meet so many wonderful people.Some re my travels and others aduring the visits or even afterwards. The single most important travel experience probably was my visit to the USA Canada and Britain in 2001. I wrote a number of stories after my return that was posted in “Online Voices the offical online magazine of Saywhatclub. I was rather surprised to see that they are still in the archives. However I want to repeat some here with photos added as a nice reminder of that wonderful journey. Enjoy and think back on the memoires that we share…

I wrote as follows…

I call my story the "Quail Trail". For those of you who don't know the story of the Quails... I call my CI buddies the Quails or Kwartels (Afrikaans for Quail) because we have an Afrikaans saying that goes (literally translated) "As deaf as a quail"...

I think it's time to start telling you a little about my experiences. It will for sure also help me to keep the lovely memories fresh and alive.

Before my departure everything went wrong and I had such a lot of problems to attend to that there was hardly time to get excited. But from the moment I started packing the excitement began. I arrived at Jan Smuts Airport in Johannesburg completely exhausted and just a little concerned about the connecting flight in Zurich the next day. I met my friend Ruth at the airport and although we were departing at the same time she was flying first class via London with BA and I was booked on a flight with Swissair via Zurich to Newark.

Upon arriving at the Swissair desk I asked for assistance and the next moment a young lady arrived with a wheel chair!! I told her that although I was dead tired I could still manage to walk to the departure gate... In the meantime Ruth had taken matters in hand and with a little encouragement convinced the guy who was waiting to take her to the VIP departure lounge that she could not possibly wait for her flight to depart without me at her side LOL. He whisked us past the customs desk and we walked past the metal detectors to be wanded because neither of us was prepared to take off our CI's and scared to mess up our maps walking through the detectors.

Shortly after that we settled into comfy chairs in the VIP lounge, poured a Scotch to drink a toast on the problems we were leaving behind... Our adventure had begun and we were ready to have fun.

About an hour before departure time I said goodbye to Ruth and walked to the Swissair departure gate. On my way the friendly lady that offered the wheel chair walked past me and I then joined the long queue at the gate. The next moment the little lady came back and gestured to me to come with her and whisked me past all the other waiting passengers. She made me really feel like a VIP and made sure that the airhostesses knew that I wanted assistance in Zurich the next day.



The flight was not too bad but uncomfortable although I sat almost at the back on the aisle side to have room for my legs (those of you who've met me know I am tall). The bad part of this particular arrangement was that everyone wanting to use the plane toilet lined up in the passage next to my seat and that carried on for most of the night because the only toilets on the plane were at the back! I hardly slept at all but the food was GOOD!! The Swiss are known for the best hotel/chef's schools in the world. The lady next to me seemed to be more interested in the booze than in the food and drank about four beers before I managed to finish my meal and she again ordered some more during the night and at breakfast the next morning. Truly amazing because SHE never visited the toilet HAHAHA



Upon arrival in Zurich all I wanted was to get to a bathroom to freshen up and to sleep!! It was just after 8 in the morning and my connecting flight was due at 16:00 in the afternoon which meant I had a few hours to kill. After getting off the plane I was told to get on to one of those jeep-like vehicles. Since there were quite a few passengers also waiting to be escorted that obviously needed the ride more than me I offered to walk but the lady would not hear about it and sort of told me to get onto the darn cart and shut up.

Eventually we were taken almost to the other side of the airport and I then realised why she insisted that I get on the little cart. We were taken to the transit lounge and told to wait and make sure that we were there one hour before our connecting flights were departing. There were a lot of people in the transit lounge and almost all the chairs were occupied so I looked for a bathroom and took a walk through the duty free shops. That was nice and before I really knew what I was doing I bought a nice wristwatch!! All the Swiss chocolates in the shops were of course also very inviting but I decided NOT to buy some because Ruth had told me that her daughters specifically said NO Chocolates; I gathered they were perhaps dieting or at least very health conscious. Being a dietitian I decided I must at least make a good impression upon arrival in Newark - sort of showing that I practice what I preach although I was dying to buy loads of those chocolates. I thought that I had to go via Zurich a few more times I would buy the chocolates the next time I got to Zurich...never got the opportunity but did buy a very expensive tin of chocolates on the plane on my way back!

I went back to the transit lounge and by that time there were more empty seats and a number of people was stretched out on them sleeping Opposite me were a young very friendly Lebanese girl and her parents. She started talking to me and I immediately had to explain to her about my CI and the fact that I still had to lip-read. Then of course they all became very interested in my CI and it triggered off a nice conversation with me ending up telling them just how exhausted I was. Then the girl walked up to the desk and came back with two of those little cushions and blankets that one gets on the plane for her mother and me.

Without a care in the world I then stretched out on the chairs and was lost to the world for a few hours. The Lebanese people also had to wait for a connecting flight in the afternoon and the girl made sure that the Swissair people knew that we were sleeping and had to be alerted when it was time to get to the plane again. Afterwards I could not help smiling at how easily one does things like this when you know there is no one around that knows you!! In South Africa I would never dream of just lying down on a few seats at an airport!!



21 Rickland Drive, Randolph, NJ – Richard and Merle Blackman’s home.

By 3 o clock the afternoon I was ready to leave and a little less tired. Again the Swissair people assisted me very nicely and about eight hours after departing from Zurich I was welcomed in Newark by Ruth and her daughter and the kidlets. Ruth had arrived about three hours before me and had already dished out all the goodies that she bought from South Africa for the kids. By that time it was about 26 hours since I left South Africa! All I wanted was a nice hot bath and a bed!! Jet lag had set in with a vengeance and I could not be bothered about anything but to fall asleep!! America did not seem half as inviting as I expected it to be.
Fortunately I had experienced this with my previous trip and I knew that it would take a day or two before I would be ready to really start enjoying myself, getting interested in my surroundings